Ambien. No doubt about it.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
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