I'm gonna have a badass scar
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
