i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
