apparently the secret to your success is patron
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
