i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I miss vodka workout Fridays
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
