she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize