I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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