Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Holy sore nipples Batman
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize