I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
