If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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