omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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