I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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