Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
