Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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