If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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