Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize