drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
