question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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