last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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