She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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