I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
