just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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