We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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