Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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