Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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