The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
