My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
