Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
