its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize