Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
