She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
