so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize