When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
