this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Damn victory sex feels great
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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