My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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