just tell him i said nine months
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
