i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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