Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
