Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
