We named our party play list daddy issues
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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