These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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