I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
no you cant smoke seaweed
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
