I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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