In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize