then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
