was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Congratulations! We have a period
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