I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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