may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
