You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
