Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
