At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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