So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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