He had one of those small greek statue penises
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Verdict: uncircumcised.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
