I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
