I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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