I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
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