but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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