i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
