FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
